THE END

31.12.08

It is the end.
Tomorrow marks a new day, a new year.
What would 2009 bring us?
Wars? Peace? Money? More Coke drinking sessions?

What did 2008 brought us?

Wars, misery, failures, Depression.

Not forgetting, 2008 brought us HORGAOGAN.BLOGSPOT.COM

May you motherfuckers enjoy 2009.

HGG

Drinking coke and doing a facial

One of the best things in life is giving a girl a facial - not a real facial, but by giving her 1x hohseh with a 1x hohseh bukkake money shot on her face.

However, something I've learnt over the past few months is that shooting right into her mouth, or asking her to drink coke by sucking real hard is one of life's small pleasures. Nothing beats shooting your load into her mouth, apart from shooting your load in her of course, but that's also dangerous because that would mean $400 for an abortion.

Unless you horgaogan lah. If you horgaogan and you want the dog to cum in your mouth, then I have nothing to say, you deserve to get fucked by a dog.

So go out now and shoot your load in some girl's mouth!

Mother

Mother. The person who brought us life, with help of a sperm.
Mother. The person who tolerated us, who loved us for who we are.
Mother. The person who loves us more than anything else, even when the whole world hates us.

Hence, the crudest of vulgarities are mostly directed to Mother.

Kan ni na: Hokkien. Shorter version of Kan ni na ma. To engage in a sexual intercourse with one's own mother.

Tiu lei lou mou chao hai: Cantonese. To engage in a sexual intercourse with one's own mother smelly vagina.

Son of a bitch: English. To describe the other person's mother as a dog.

Inspiration

People need inspiration.

"One who pees into the wind wets himself"
Confucius

"One who sleeps with an itchy backside wakes up with a smelly finger."
Confucius

"If tomorrow is the same as today, we would not be any wiser."
HGG - Winter '08

The standard of English amongst anonymous blog commenters never cease to amaze me - you get fuckwits telling you how fucked up your blog is, how bad your english is, and how "SUCK YOUR BLOG" is.

Yeah, how suck my blog is. How suck the world is. How suck your mother, who sucked your father, who in return how sucked you.

Suck my dick and call me Baby Jesus motherfuckers.

Let me put this in perspective for all you potential dog fuckers out there - my English is way better than yours. I churn out essays that puts your great-grandfather to shame, and even he wants to suck my dick, so don't bother telling me how "suck my blog is" because the only thing (or person, for that matter) who will do any sucking is your mother.

How apt the blog title, when used in this context.

Go get yourself fucked by a dog, or multiple dogs, and know your place in society - below me.

Education

The Government have always stressed on the importance of having an all-rounded education. But they do not have to be worried, Kids nowadays are exposed to a wide spectrum of information and learning.

At a Kindergarden situated in a heartland.

Miss Tan:- Boy Boy, come recite the alphabet song i taught yesterday.
Boy Boy:- a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,.. now i know my abc-s, won't you come and sing with me..
Miss Tan:- Very Good.

At a Playground after school

Girl Girl:- Hey Boy boy, What did you learn in school today?
Boy Boy:- I recited the alphabet song, Miss Tan say i'm very good. What about you?
Girl Girl:- Oh, this boy in school taught me a new alphabet song, Let me teach you.
Girl Girl:- a,b,c, kiam chye char lo ti. lo ti boh ho jiak, ah ma pang sai ko le jiak!
Loosely Translated:- a,b,c, salted vegetables fried with bread. the bread is not tasty, so grandma shitted for you to eat.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Man: 1 cock.
Woman: 2 breasts and 1 pussy.

Difference between man and woman: THINKING.

Miss Sunshine: Hmmm.. what should i wear for my date tonight?? Where are we going to eat.. How is my make-up.. blah blah blah.
Mr Moon: Will I have sex tonight.

Mrs Li: Today is my 20th wedding anniversary.. My hubby still look as handsome as ever.. I shall cook him a fantastic dinner and I shall surprise him with the new nightie i bought.. <3
Mr Li: Tonight is Man Utd Vs Liverpool. Must jio the kakhis out!

Miss Lian: Wah.. Look at all those soldiers.. so cool.. Men in uniform are sexy..
Recruit Chao: Knn! This stupid No.4 so hot.. Make me look like a tree.. How to jio girls in this?!!

Did you know that Men and Women have a similar body part.. Its called the nipples.
The only difference.. Men's nipples are non-functional.

The Period

Period.
Never in the history of mankind has a single word caused so much dread
, hurt and sorrows to man and woman alike.

Man A:-Wah! Why that Susie's face so oor(black)? Like machiam BaoQingTian.
Man B:-Aiyah.. must be her PERIOD coming la..
Man A:-Alamak.. then we better siam her.

Recruit Tan:-Eh brudder.. Why your face so steam? You whole night never sleep ah?
Recruit Bala:-Aiyah.. Never sleep lo. Was thinking the whole night leh.
Recruit Tan:-Huh? Similanjiao? Thinking of who?
Recruit Bala:-Aiyah.. Girlfriend PERIOD haven't come yet.

Ah Huay:-I want to eat Mcdonald's Hotcakes NOW!!
Ah Huat:-But Darling, now only 12.30am
Ah Huay:-I WANT IT NOW!! I GOT PERIOD SO IM QUEEN!!
Ah Huat:-Knnbccb! Horgaogan la!

Girl C:-Pain..Pain..Pain..
Girl D:-Why you keep complaining pain??
Girl C:-PERIOD lo.

Thus, I rest my case. Period

The Very First Post

HorGaoGan: Hokkien phrase. To engage in a sexual intercourse with a member of the canine species: You say what? You want limbei to treat u dinner? You go cross the road, find a dog and go HorGaoGan!!